How Bikers Read Signs

It’s a well known fact that most bikers are more familiar with the Highway Code and generally more clued up on the road that your average car driver. Often we’ve sat both car and motorcycle tests (theory & practical) and quite commonly we are keen to advance ourselves further still, be it with BikeSafe, IAM/ RoSPA qualifications or track/offroad days. However, for all the best intentions, our subconscious may not always read signs to the book…

 double-bend Fun times lie ahead, must get past this dopey Sunday driver.
 national-speed-limit About fucking time! Let’s open her open her up…
 hump-bridge Time to get some air!
 speed-cam Brake test time.
 traffic-queues-likely Suckers! Not likely I’m queuing.
 double-solid-line Why am I stuck behind a caravan/truck/slow coach again?!
 with-flow-bus-lane Stupid local council is full of Lycra clad cyclists hating bikers. Grrr!
 sharp-deviation Can I get my knee down here…?
 road-humps Time to stand on pegs.
 rounabout-directions Who cares which lane?! I’m filtering to front and I’ll be gone before you suckers find first gear.
 parking-for-sole-motorcyclist Hallelujah! (But watch them scooter idiots squeezing in a scratching your pride and joy).
 diagonal-hatching Sweet! A filtering lane.
 cattle They’ll be shit on the road.
 Loose Chippings Yikes, grit! Can’t they afford fucking tarmac?! Hope to god I don’t have to brake…
 giveway Will not put my foot down, will not put my foot down…
 croassroad Initiate SMIDSY weave now.
 tunnel-ahead How good does my can sound? Fuck yeah!
 reduce-speed Yeah, in a minute, got plenty of time yet…
 no-overtaking I can still overtake can’t I? I’m on a bike, right?
 max-speed Ease off, quaint village life ahead.
 giveway-to-opp I’m sure I can still squeeze through there…
015 About fucking time!
dual-carriageway-ends Last chance to get past these idiots.
 worded-warning-sign What feckin eejit chose this route?! I’m not on a bloody GS.
 slippery-road  Why? Are they deliberately trying to kill us?

Author: Arthur

Seasoned London commuter, doing my best to stay rubber side down and never stop moving forward.

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